Tulip Fever by Deborah Moggach

Author:Deborah Moggach
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction
ISBN: 9780307423412
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2007-12-18T05:00:00+00:00

TIME EXPANDS AND CONTRACTS. We hoard it like misers or watch it spill out like shaken cloth in front of us. Our dreams are broken by it—at night they are punctuated by the whir of the night watchman’s rattle and his singsong voice, jolting us awake to the hour. Then silence closes over us again. When I am alone in the house it seems endless— minutes crawl past.

In Jan’s studio, however, I urge it to stay still. How can the sand fall so fast? But time spent there, when finished, has no end; it is with me always. And now time has a new momentum—nine months, which quicken as they carry us helplessly toward November. From that moment it is unimaginable. In November, we step out of the building into space, and this time I cannot imagine flying.

Just now, however, time feels motionless. Jan and I have spent the day in his bed. I have no idea of the hour; outside, the street noises seem miles away, in another country. He has sent Jacob home and given Gerrit the day off. He has stocked up with food for a siege of love.

On the floor, among my discarded clothes, lies my cushion. I am only five months pregnant; it is a small cushion, green velvet, that I have stolen from the library. Now that it is detached from my body it looks absurdly humdrum. I have grown fond of my fabric child, my plump accomplice.

I say: “I will have to use a pillow soon.”

“What are we going to do, Sophia? We have to face it sooner or later.”

“Live for the moment,” I reply blithely. “Isn’t that what you said, when you were painting our portrait? Grasp it while you can.”

“But what’s going to happen when the baby is born? Even if we run away he will find us.”

“Ssh—let us not talk about it now.”

“He’ll track us down. There’s nowhere we can go that is far enough.”

Jan is right. We have realized, upon reflection, that our plan will not work. Cornelis is a powerful man with influential connections. He knows the ships’ captains; how can we travel undetected? Should we arrive at the East Indies, even then we would not be safe. Cornelis is in communication with traders there; he owns a spice plantation. Nowhere in the world will be safe.

“God will give us an answer,” I reply.

“You really think that He’s on our side?”

“Where’s your Bible? Get a key.”

Maria has told me about this. It is her transaction with God when she has to make a decision. Jan climbs into bed, carrying his Bible. It rests like a paving stone on our knees. I close my eyes, open a page at random and place his hand, holding the key, on some words.

“Read it out.”

He reads: “Thy breasts are like two young roe deer that are twins, which feed among the lilies. . . . Thy lips, o my spouse, drop as the honeycomb; honey and milk are under thy tongue.” Jan closes the Bible.

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